| Protecting our Kids! | | Posted on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 4:56pm |  Cec Murphey was my guest on Christian Momlogic this week. Cec shared great thoughts on how to protect our children from sexual abuse. A victim himself, he recently published a powerful book for women who have men in their lives with abuse in their history, When a Man You Loved Was Abused: A Woman's Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation (Kegel Publications).
It is estimated that at least two out of every ten girls and one out of every ten boys are sexually abused by the end of their thirteenth year. Such experiences are scarring and have a lifelong effect. Cec encourages parents to openly discuss abuse and prepare children to avoid situations that can lead to molestation.
I would like to add a few more ideas parents can do to protect their children:
1) Guard your children from sexual material. In our world you can't open a magazine, drive down the street, or watch commercials without exposure to sexually suggestive material and ideas. Be careful what your children hear and watch. Discuss the importance of purity with your children.
2) Children often "explore" and experiment by touching in inappropriate ways. Instruct your children the ways not to allow others to touch them or how they should act as well. Teaching them at a very young age to honor their bodies and those of others will keep a wall in tact.
3) Keep the lines of communication open. Don't overreact when your child does explore. Calmly discuss appropriate behavior. I agree with Cec. Let your child know they can always come to you when something has happened. Instruct them to tell you if anyone ever touches them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.
I recommend reading When a Man You Loved Was Abused: A Woman's Guide to Helping Him Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation . This book gave me insights not only how to help men who have been abused, but women as well. Read Cec's thoughts on CML . We not only need to help the men we love, but the "little" men as well. Even though Cec's book is for adults, I believe it gives insights for how to help those sexually abused of all ages and genders. This is a family and church problem, not an individual one, and this book gives important insights.
Read my review of this book on my Mom's Friends book review page. Watch the video and hear Cec share from his heart why he wrote the book.
We have a young sister, and her breasts are not yet grown. What shall we do for our sister for the day she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar
(Song of Solomon 8:8-9).
| | | | | | Moms: The Gatekeepers of our Kids' Lives | | Posted on Monday, September 6, 2010 at 2:44pm |  In my morning quiet time, the word “gatekeeper” jumped out at me. Throughout the book of Nehemiah the gatekeepers are acknowledged. They’re listed with the singers, priest, and Levites; pretty high positions among the Israelites. Often specific names are given for particular gatekeepers and their families. Can you imagine your name written in the Word of God for all generations to take notice?
The gatekeepers had the important job of securing the gates that surrounded the city of Jerusalem. Sometimes this meant they guarded—from within and without—the grain supplies stored near the gates. Other times their job was to guard the gates against enemies invading the city. They sounded the trumpet alarm when danger occurred. More often, they just stood—they took their stand and remained in their place near their gate, even when things were quiet. Their homes were usually located on or near the wall adjacent to the gate in their charge. Their entire family was responsible for the gate.
About twenty-five years ago I became fascinated with the gates of Jerusalem and the book of Nehemiah. I’ve done extensive studies on the different gates and what they represent in our spiritual lives. I’ve written and led Bible studies and women’s retreats on the subject of “rebuilding our crumbling walls.” But for the first time I saw the gates in light of being a mom.
As moms, we’ve been charged with watching over our children, so in a way we’re gatekeepers. We stand on guard, protecting them from danger. Moms physically and spiritually feed their children “grain,” and we must select and watch over what they consume. As the gatekeeper of our children’s lives, it’s our job to inspect what comes in and out, to stop enemies that try to invade their hearts, and more often, to just simply stand, waiting on what the Lord would have us do next. Although my children are grown, my role is to train them to take over the duties of our gate and to protect their own families.
This has stirred in me my old love for Nehemiah. In the upcoming Monday The Spiritual Mom blog posts, let’s look at the different gates. I think you will also find it fascinating how they represent the different aspects of motherhood and the role of a woman.
They performed the service of their God and the service of purification, as did also the singers and gatekeepers, according to the commands of David and his son Solomon (Nehemiah 12:45).
| | | | | | Choosing Our Words Carefully | | Posted on Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 6:00am |  Between writing a book, Twittering, Facebook, blogging several times a week on several different blogs, email and messages it’s easy to run out of words. Sometimes I sit in front of the screen and just stare and pray and pray and stare. I’m amazed at the people who “tweet” all day. Where do they come up with all those words?
Yesterday I was reading in Ezekiel and the following passage stood out.
He then said to me: "Son of man, go now to the house of Israel and speak my words to them" (Ezekiel 3:4 NIV)
I looked it up in the King James Bible: “speak with my words unto them.”
What struck me was “speak my words”—speak with my words.
As I write my blogs and tweet more each day, I want my words to come from the Spirit of God. I don’t want to twitter my time away blogging words that are meaningless. I want to speak and write as God directs, not because it’s the
"thing to do."
If you are reading this blog, you’re probably a blogger yourself. Perhaps you’re on Facebook and Twitter too. Do you struggle with finding the right words?
When I surrender my words and use God’s words, as he instructed Ezekiel, he is faithful to give me the words I need. God placed a scroll in Ezekiel’s mouth and it tasted sweet, even though the message was a hard one. The Lord was sending the prophet to warn the people of Israel because of their rebellion. God’s words are sweet and true—even if the message is tough at times.
- How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! (Psalm 119:103)
- All your words are true; all your righteous laws are eternal (Psalm 119:160).
- Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Proverbs 16:24).
So as I twitter and blog, I pray that my words are God’s words and that I do not babble and “tweet” useless messages.
- A man of knowledge uses words with restraint . . . (Proverbs 17:27) .
- When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise (Proverbs 10:19).
In my previous blog, I discussed dumb things we say to our kids. Definitely not words from the Lord. Words are so powerful. Spoken and written, they can encourage or discourage; build or destroy. We must choose our words carefully and make sure we use God's words.
This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words (1 Corinthians 2:13).
Since you’re reading this blog, it’s safe to assume you are a blogger and perhaps a tweeter too. Do you struggle with finding the right words? Let’s pray we obey the following passage:
If anyone speaks (writes), he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen (1 Peter 4:11).
| | | | | | Stupid Things We Tell Our Kids | | Posted on Monday, August 30, 2010 at 6:00am | While cleaning up some files I ran across one of those internet messages people send around that list stupid things. This one was of dumb instructions printed on packages such as:
- Sears hairdryer: “Do not use while sleeping.”
- Bag of Fritos: “You could be a winner. No purchase necessary. Details inside.” (So am I suppose to steal it?)
- Bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.”
- A American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.”
These are just a few, and after I stopped laughing, I started thinking of stupid things we moms say to our kids. Have you ever said the following?
- “You’re grounded. . . for life.” (That would mean your kid will never leave home . I don't think so.)
- "Do as I say, not as I do.” (So what are you doing?)
- ". . . because I said so, that's why!" (So who died and made you God?)
- “Do you want a spanking/timeout?!(What kid is going to say YES?)
- "I'm going to tell your father!” (For some kids this might not be a threat.)
- “That’s the last time I’m going to tell you.” (So how many times have you already said it?)
- “Don’t come running to me when you break a leg.” (If he breaks his leg, he won’t be running anywhere.)
While this is fun, we all say things we really don’t mean. Our words may seem appropriate at the time, but they can be harmful to our children. Words are powerful and our tongues often work faster than our minds. As Proverbs 15:2 tells us, “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.”
As believers we want our kids to belief and obey the Word of God, the Bible. It starts with making sure they can trust us to say what we mean and that our “yes is yes and our no, no” (James 5:12). If we tell our kids they will be grounded for life, which of course we cannot really do, they may think that God doesn’t really mean he will punish the wicked for eternity. They may feel no consequences for bad behavior.
When we preach one thing then do another we set a double standard. Our children may follow our example and keep secrets in their own lives. They will think it's okay to lie and act differently in public than in private.
It’s tough sometimes in the heat of the moment to keep our mouths shut. However, we will earn our kids respect and obedience when we keep our words simple, to the point, and trustworthy.
Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few (Ecclesiastes 5:2).
So what crazy thing have you told your kid that you wish you hadn’t?
| | | | | | Sailing to Mexico | | Posted on Friday, August 27, 2010 at 8:01am | .jpg) I usually don't share too much about my "other life" on here, but our family is very active in the Christian Publishing industry. My husband is Executive Publisher for WinePress Publishing where I'm the Editorial Director and Publicity Director. Our children are actively employed or involved as well. It's a blessing to work with my family in this way.
So I want to announce that WinePress Publishing is sponosring a cruise to Mexico February 27-March 6. The exciting part for me is that my long-time writing mentor and dear friend Cec Murphey will be our keynoter. Nick Harrison, editor from Harvest House Publishing will also sail with us (in fact, it was his idea since his wife was already cruising with her quilting group). These two men are two of the finest, most encouraging men I know in the Christian publishing industry.
Sign up right away before the prices go up!
If you are an aspiring writer or just want to sail to Mexico with some really fun people--during the cold winter months--then join us!
| | | | |
|
|
 Links  Recent Posts  Categories |
Sign up for The Spiritual Mom eZine and receive a FREE mom-inspiring screensaver.
|
|
Authorized Log-In